The truth is, I have so much I want to say, I have so many backlogged blog posts in my head but I don't make this a priority. It's been a while since I've had time to just sit down and blog, or read other peoples blogs for that matter, so tonight I tossed Kenzie in a her bed a little early with a coloring book and some crayons and hit the blogs for a little catching up. Catching up is so great and so hard because here is how I felt. (It's how I've been feeling for a while.)
I miss my friends. I miss VA, I miss really simple things. I miss my ward/wards, the fact that I felt like I knew people and they knew me. (I spoke in church on Sunday and wanted to crack a joke about Lee's youthful appearance in my intro but somehow I thought, nope, they just wouldn't appreciate it.) I miss how everyone was friends, sure everyone has their good buddies, but everyone was friends. I miss how I knew about the schools in VA, I miss the fact that my friends were a stones throw away. I miss my old running routes. This all sounds silly, but I miss it.
I was excited to move to GA, head out on a new adventure, live in a place with reasonable housing prices but the newness has worn off. Don't get me wrong, I do like it here and I have faith that our situation will improve with time, just in the current moment I am missing my old life.
I don't really have any friends here. Not in my ward at least, people are friendly but I don't have any friends. In fact I really only have 2 friends. My two neighbors have been a blessing in my life, but one is going back to work full time next week (so sad for me). But in a way I still feel alone. None of my close friends here are members of the church, part of me feels like I need a friend who understands me on all levels. I miss that about VA, I can't begin to describe how many truly amazing women I knew, and they all lived within a mile of me. What a blessing that was, and how I miss them so much. I miss just talking to them, I miss their families, I miss their cutest little kids. I miss being able to take their kids and drop off mine, and feel ok about it. I miss really knowing people. And it feels weird saying it, but I miss people knowing who I really am. I feel like I've met a lot of people they've got an idea of who I am, but thats not who I am. Its weird feeling like there really isn't anyone close to turn to. Its been a lonely feeling.
I think this loneliness feeling I have also stems from the fact that Lee and I haven't been on a real date since September. We haven't found anyone to swap with. We don't really know of anyone to hire as a babysitter (although we are looking into it). Our relationship has not been nourished, when I think of counsel about weekly dates I have to laugh and think, they must mean weekly dates when your kids are like 16. But a little attention to my husband and our relationship might also help the mental, social and emotional roller coaster I have been on. Right now, he's the only one I've got. So as depressing as that all was, I really am fine, I just really miss my friends. (It doesn't help that Lee is in DC right now on business, I told him to tell it hello for me!)
10 comments:
Hey, VA misses you too!!
This is a great area to live in with lots of great people. Although when I moved here (I was pregnant with Theo at the time--crazy huh!) it took me several months to find friends too, at least before I had friends that I really felt like myself with. (including YOU!) So I think I can identify.
Theo and Ida still talk about Kenzie, which is so funny since it seems like a while since we really hung out a ton. But they miss her too!
I totally hear ya--sometimes it's hard to be honest on my blog about how I am feeling because I don't want people to worry. Like, I'm not going to jump off a building or anything, just kinda bummed about this one aspect of life.
You will make friends. But still--come visit!!
you should totally hang out with britt. She feels the same way.
I went through this when we lived in Idaho. I was at home with Kolby Daniel was always gone and my friends had all moved away. Not fun times.
Now even if we can just get one date a month and if i have one really good friend it makes a HUGE difference.
Oh man, I miss you! I've been thinking about you this week. This is a crappy time of year no matter where you live. I honestly haven't seen or talked to any friends in weeks. Everyone is sick and it's too cold to really want to go anywhere. I think when spring rolls around (soon, right?) people will come out of their caves and be more social. And honestly, pretty soon these people have to see your awesomeness! I miss you! Let's talk soon!
Reading this just made me hurt for you cuz I get it. In a way I feel like marching down there and telling Atlanta, "do you realize what an awesome woman is in your presence?". Because i know you and I would appreciate you and have you over for dinner and watch your adorable kids and invite you to free beach houses. I'm sorry you are having a tough time and I know you know it will get better, but that doesn't help right now. I miss you and love you.
We miss you too.
Now that I sorta have my butt in running shape, I don't know who else is willing to drag their kids out on cold mid-morning runs with me.
Now that I finally have this two-kid thing down, I don't know who else is willing to drop everything and come over, just because.
In fact, I miss you too. Genevieve misses Kenzie. And, I'm sure that if Emory knew Austin existed and vice versus, they would miss each other also.
We should plan a road trip and meet up half way somewhere along I-95. Then we can fill our canteens.
Take care. If VA misses you then I know GA loves you (except the DMV of course, because they don't love anybody).
I'd totally babysit those cutie pie kiddos so you and Lee can go on a date!:)
We miss you Ash! I always feel sad when I think that you guys moved away all too quickly!
It has taken me 2 years to feel like I have what you are describing. This whole socializing and friendshipping (is that even a word?) thing takes time. I'm pretty sure that once winter is over, things will get better!:)
Lots of hugs to everyone!
I'm sorry you're so sad. I'm sure with time you'll meet a lot of fun women to hang out with. It's odd that you feel the way I felt in Virginia. Maybe I had the baby blues from Jack but my transition into Oakton was hard for me. It got even worse when the ward split. I've learned that sometimes I just can't depend on other people to entertain me but it is nice to have that one friend you can just hang out with like a sister. Good luck and keep your chin up. Believe me, I've been there:-)
I am sorry it has been tough lately. Like others have said, I too hope things turn around soon. We sure miss you here.
Ashley, we miss you! I think about you often. I can't really imagine that you don't have friends because you were such a good friend to so many in VA. Hang in there girl! Love you.
Girlfriend... I'm so sorry you're lonely. You'll make friends fast! You're so sociable and easy to talk to. No matter where you go, we'll be best buds forever! Call me anytime. :) You've got to find a babysitter and get out. We have like 8 babysitters we could call. Ask moms you know who there babysitters are. We miss you guys!
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